notjustamilitarywife

This post is not going to make me popular with anybody.  The “everybody vote!!  votevotevote!!!!!!” hype was huge for this election.  And trust me, I agree with the principle wholeheartedly.  Yes, everyone should vote.  Exercise that constitutional right.  Make your voice heard.  Yes, this was a historic, groundbreaking election.  There was no excuse not to vote, absolutely none.

Well, except for mine.  I was not planning on voting.  I thought about it, and decided against it, for a couple of reasons.

1) I’m just starting out as a freelance writer, and, like with everything I get excited about, I am completely wrapped up in it.  It pains me to get up from my computer when I’m in the middle of a project, or when I have a blog post or an article burning in my brain.  And I just knew the polls were going to be insane this Nov. 4th.  It took me an hour and a half to cast my vote in the primary, and it took 2 hours for Justin when he early voted.  Two hours of not writing or researching or blogsurfing or any of the other things I’m madly passionate about just did not appeal to me.

So now you say, “That’s lame.  The presidential election only comes around once every four years, and this one is huge.  How can you be so lazy and short sighted?  How can you consider yourself an intelligent, educated young professional with an attitude like that?”

Ok, true.  But then consider THIS:

2) I am currently living in Texas.  Texas is a red state.  Texas will always be a red state.  Had I cast a vote for McCain, it would have been just one more vote in the inevitable tide of McCain votes.  Had I cast a vote for Obama, it wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference in this state.

I realize that the previous statement is pretty much THE MOST UNCOOL thing I could possibly say right now.

This is where you retort, “Sarah, how can you say that?  EVERY vote counts.  Think what would happen if everyone thought that way.  Maybe if that defeatist attitude wasn’t so prevalent, ‘red states’ wouldn’t be so red, and ‘blue’ states wouldn’t be so blue.”

Yes, yes.  I know, and again, I agree- on principle.  I’d say the same to anyone else.  But let’s be honest, all voting rhetoric aside, I’m right.  My vote, regardless of who it was for, wouldn’t have one iota of a chance of changing the outcome of the election in Texas.  So, voting on principle would be just that- voting just so I could say, “I voted!” and proudly display the little sticker, and hang out with all the other cool kids that did the right thing and exercised their constitutional right to stand in line for two hours and have their say.  And is that worth two hours of my time, when there’s so much else for me to be spending that time on right now?

Anyhow, all the above was small stuff compared to my final reason for not wanting to vote:

3) I was UNDECIDED.

“OH my God,” you say. “How is that POSSIBLE?  I mean, people always talk about those ‘undecided voters’ but I thought they were just a myth.  I feel SO PASSIONATE about MY chosen candidate.  How could anyone possibly not have made up their mind by election day?  Are you mentally retarded and I just never noticed it?”

No.   No, I am not.

In fact, I am surrounded by people who are quite passionate about their political leanings.  My family is a bunch of softie, bleeding heart liberals and that is what I was raised in.  My husband is a conservative republican, as are most of our peer group in the military.  My friends from college and high school are mostly liberal, some conservative, but all, I am sure, quite staunch in their beliefs.  I find myself not wanting to talk about politics with anyone, because I just don’t want to get flamed.  Not that I think any of my friends, family, or acquaintances wouldn’t be respectful of someone having dissimilar beliefs- it’s just that I’ve heard “I just can’t BELIEVE anyone could be so STUPID as to even THINK about voting for X candidate” a few too many times- from both sides.

There were things about both candidates that I liked, and that I didn’t like.  I love what Obama stands for.  I believe that his message and his persona are what we need in the world arena today.  I like a lot of things he has said and stands for.  I also just don’t like some of his policies and positions.  I’m not going to go into them here.  On some things, I am more in line with McCain.

If I could have voted for a hybrid being, BarJohn McBama, a charasmatic symbol of hope and change who also happened to share all my views on economic and social issues, I would have happily stood in line for however many hours.  Since I couldn’t, skipping the polls sounded better than walking up to the booth still agonizing over my decision.  So I made up my mind to skip voting (and try to avoid admitting that to anyone).

My decision kept popping up and bugging me all day as I was typing and clicking away at my computer.  What if my future children, someday, curled up in my lap and said, “Mommy, tell us the story about what you did the day of the 2008 election.”

Oh my God, how would I tell them, “Oh, Mommy didn’t vote.  She wrote a couple of internet articles instead.  But don’t do as Mommy does, do as she says, and go out there and be a civic leader and an activist for what’s right and raise your voice.  I’ll just be in here watching YouTube videos and commenting on Blogs while you’re doing that.”

I thought too, about all my friends who actively campaigned in the days leading up to the election.  I thought about the dozens of thousands of zillions of facebook statuses that have popped up on my newsfeed about the political race over the past month.  I thought about November 4th, 2004, when my college roommate Abby and I sat on her perfectly comfortable couch in Camm 142, watching the votes roll in all evening, and how exciting and suspenseful it was.   But still, I stood firm.

Then at 6, my mom called: “Did you VOTE?”

Well, I can’t lie.  Especially not to my mom.  So I told her the truth.  And boy, was she pissed.  I got an earful.  And since my mom is my best friend, I felt lower than low.  I also felt righteously indignant.  I’m an adult, and I have the right to make this adult decision, right?  I was pissed.

But I went and voted anyways.  It did take me about 15 minutes to find my way to the front of the elementary school that literally backs up to my house (damn you, subdivision developers).  Once I got there, however, it was surprisingly easy.  I only had a few minutes of wait time before I walked up to the polling booth.  The election officials were ringing a little bell each time a first time voter signed it.  The bell was going off regularly while I was there- and that was nice.

But I was still undecided as I walked up to the booth.  And as I stared down at the president selection screen.

I made a decision in that moment.  Well, besides the one about who I was going to vote for as president.  I decided that my vote was going to be my business, and no one else’s.  I wasn’t going to share my decision- not with my mom, not with my husband, and not with anyone reading my blog.  I’m keeping that one locked in my heart for me alone.  But hey, I voted- isn’t that all that matters?

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